est: 4/30/2009 08:21:00 PM
DOWNER.
I managed to lose my cellphone, and break my laptop charger in one week. Luckily, I found a temp phone, and... luckily, I wasn't the one who broke my charger. My sister did, haha! So hopefully she'll find a replacement soon :)
I guess this week was kind of my "rocky road". It felt like such a hard week. Not so much in school, but just in general. I've been feeling so all over the place. I hoping I've just got some serious PMS issues, and that next week will be better. 'cause as for now, I just feel kinda beaten down.
ONNN the plus side, I was able to have a nice picnic on Tuesday :):) Such a beautiful day. Not enough wind for kites but it's all good. It was really sweet. Friday picnic plans are cancelled, but hopefully, like I said before... next week will be better :)
Weekend's gonna be busy. Hopefully I'll handle it well.
that's all for now, I think.
Have a good day!
est: 4/27/2009 05:02:00 PM
28km/h
I'm actually on my balcony right now, chillin on some blankets. It got so much colder :( so I think I'll be going back inside soon.
BTW, I lost my phone =/ so I've been on a search for a replacement telus phone that I could use. I'm not too sad about it, thank God.
//
I'm really trying to be the mature, future planning Lanie that I want to be. But there is so much that you do that frustrates me! You have no idea how unusual this is, and I have no idea how this is going to turn out. But I'm not getting what I want now... and I might not even get what I want later. I did this so I can stop going on a limb about this... but I'm realizing now that, either way... I will always be putting something on the line. I have no idea if I'm doing something right, or if I'm doing somethign wrong. But, it's a struggle both ways.
It's always a struggle isn't it? :(
est: 4/23/2009 10:40:00 PM
"and I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like, puzzle pieces from the clay."
I've been so blessed to find such a complementary friend. Those who have felt they've met their "other half" could best relate. I took a moment today to really take in the kind of friendships I have been blessed with. At the same time I was so heart broken to realize how often I take them for granted.
It was only recently when I realized that my bestfriend was my bestfriend. I can't remember when it was that I realized it, but I haven't stopped introducing him as such since that day. All I remember is that, I've never ever, ever met such a complementary person in my life. I've never met a person who could just take a backward glance at me and know I'm so broken inside. No one has ever known me from all sides. No one fights with me like he does (other than my family.) He listens to me when I'm whiny and crying. He tells me that I'm whining and being a baby. He laughs everytime I say "Wanna know something funny?" even if it's never really funny. He hurts when I hurt... and well, what I'm trying to say here is that... He's pretty much complementary to me. My other half. No one understands me like he does.
So why is it so easy for me to take him for granted? Why is it so easy for me to get mad at him for stupid things that don't require so much anger? Why do I over react? Why don't I believe him when he tells me the truth? Why don't I accept his help when he offers it?
I guess, my point here is that. Never think that someone will be around forever. Everyone is so blessed. Even every tiny miracle of everyday. God blesses us with such amazing people in our lives, and the best way to give back to him, is to give back to the people he gave us. Even if they don't stay around forever, they were meant to be in your life to make that much of a difference. Every friend, has made you, you. So love them! =)
Please don't mind this blog. It's so rough =(
G'night!
- lan O-O
It was only recently when I realized that my bestfriend was my bestfriend. I can't remember when it was that I realized it, but I haven't stopped introducing him as such since that day. All I remember is that, I've never ever, ever met such a complementary person in my life. I've never met a person who could just take a backward glance at me and know I'm so broken inside. No one has ever known me from all sides. No one fights with me like he does (other than my family.) He listens to me when I'm whiny and crying. He tells me that I'm whining and being a baby. He laughs everytime I say "Wanna know something funny?" even if it's never really funny. He hurts when I hurt... and well, what I'm trying to say here is that... He's pretty much complementary to me. My other half. No one understands me like he does.
So why is it so easy for me to take him for granted? Why is it so easy for me to get mad at him for stupid things that don't require so much anger? Why do I over react? Why don't I believe him when he tells me the truth? Why don't I accept his help when he offers it?
I guess, my point here is that. Never think that someone will be around forever. Everyone is so blessed. Even every tiny miracle of everyday. God blesses us with such amazing people in our lives, and the best way to give back to him, is to give back to the people he gave us. Even if they don't stay around forever, they were meant to be in your life to make that much of a difference. Every friend, has made you, you. So love them! =)
Please don't mind this blog. It's so rough =(
G'night!
- lan O-O
est: 4/21/2009 10:28:00 PM
paper airplanes
"It's impossible to lose you, because I never had you. Although I would be glad to. I probably go and tattoo your name on my heart. I swear... I start to think, that I'm going crazy."
Another beautiful day today... I loved it :) I can't remember the last time I ran around on the grass chasing paper planes. It was probably the most fun I've had in a long time :$ I actually recommend it to those who need a little more childhood in their life :P It honestly takes you way back. I can't wait til kite-flying weather!!!! :$:$:$:$:$
Multicultural day tomorrow: Which means super slack ass day x20 + non-uniform. Then, competing in tap for the first time EVER. I'm so nervous :( I wish I was still good (u)!!!
thank you so much :( You have no idea...
est: 4/20/2009 03:27:00 PM
"Young girls envy the life ya'll leading, never satisfied with a nice calm evening."
DARK DAYS PT.2
If you wanna know what I've been up to lately... This is it. =) I had the best sleep last night. Thank God for no school! 'cept that all these long weekend get me into summer mode =(. Jan's party was so chill. Happy sweet 16, baby (L) Anyway, I'll blog when my life gets a little more interesting.///
Thanks for sticking around for me. You really are the one true thing I have left. I'm sorry for being such a shitty friend... I owe you my life :(
est: 4/19/2009 02:55:00 PM
I wish I could tell you who my friends are, but I can't. (I would elaborate but then it gets a little personal.)
Other than that, Jan's surprise party was dope stuff. The best part was when we lit the sparklers but they ran out before he showed up, haha! and the cheese cake was yummy. Came home early and played Sims til two in the morning.
aaaaaand, Anonymous won 1st @ Surrey dance this afternoon.
k bye
Other than that, Jan's surprise party was dope stuff. The best part was when we lit the sparklers but they ran out before he showed up, haha! and the cheese cake was yummy. Came home early and played Sims til two in the morning.
aaaaaand, Anonymous won 1st @ Surrey dance this afternoon.
k bye
est: 4/14/2009 07:47:00 PM
underconstruction
Other than that though, everything's cool. Me and the bff are on good terms which always brightens my day (y). The beautiful weather was definitely a plus. I wish I didn't have such bad allergies though :( Can't wait for more kite flying weather :$:$:$ x10
PS: I felt nostalgic and visted xanga earlier today. Look what I found on AJ's blog. So stupid...
"well lanie is great! on my point of view! she's so cool! she's so fun to hang around with! she has corny jokes like! for example.....what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? ISS STAT CHU?! ahahha! if you don't get it that's good! ahahaha yeah they're corny! she has this roxy sweater she got at off the wall on boxing day, she gave me a cactus for my birthday......because she's so great she gave me that! she has the sound of music for the movie! lanie has a really great hair straightener which is pink but why is pink? gross! just joking...should of got white..well i don't know what to write anymore but she's great! ahahaa!!"
Thumbs up though, cuz he still talks like that, haha!
est: 4/14/2009 07:47:00 PM
http://xanga.com/cabanos
"well lanie is great! on my point of view! she's so cool! she's so fun to hang around with! she has corny jokes like! for example.....what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? ISS STAT CHU?! ahahha! if you don't get it that's good! ahahaha yeah they're corny! she has this roxy sweater she got at off the wall on boxing day, she gave me a cactus for my birthday......because she's so great she gave me that! she has the sound of music for the movie! lanie has a really great hair straightener which is pink but why is pink? gross! just joking...should of got white..well i don't know what to write anymore but she's great! ahahaa!!"
he still talks like this hahahahahah
he still talks like this hahahahahah
est: 4/12/2009 02:53:00 AM
reassurance
I thought I was doing perfectly fine, until I realized people give me too much credit. Sometimes I don't feel strong enough, until someone reassures me that I am. For that, I am so blessed to have friends like you who stick with me even if we barely talk anymore. People like you keep me going when life feels shitty. Mad love.
Well, Happy Easter urbody. It was really humbling to go to the Easter vigil mass today, which might I add, was three hours long! The reception/tuna sandwiches was definitely a bonus. Minus that time when I elbowed this chick while she was holding a plateful of food. Luckily nothing fell. She just looked really pissed! :( Other than that, I'm really looking forward to next year :$ It was such a beautiful mass. (I seriously plan on having my wedding at IC Delta :$ haha!) Oh, and this is the first year my mom didn't give me any Easter eggs! *cries*
PS: My mom's been complaining about the amount of coffee I've been drinking this past year. I could probably call myself quite the avid coffee drinker... but then I realized I don't even own my own coffee tumbler/travel mug. How stupid...
I want one! I want one! :(
est: 4/09/2009 11:04:00 PM
come on over to the bitter shade
In some areas of my life, I can get attached quite easily. To books, songs, stuffed toys... and when it comes to letting go of those things.. It might take a little convincing, and a little push, but I'll do it. Now when it comes to people, it might take me quite while to get really attached. but when I do get attached, it's gonna take a lot more than just a little push to let go of them. You'd have to do more than just try to convince me that I deserve better. Or that people change. Or friendships die. I don't like leaving people, and I don't like seeing them leave me either. I am terrible at leaving people. (some of you can agree with me on that.) What I mean to say here is that, I care too much for people to see them live their lives without me laughing/crying/yelling along with them. Earlier today, my agenda book read, "The word clip means both "fasten" and the very opposite, "detach". It made me wonder if I've been using the wrong definition for some of my friendships. When have I been constantly trying to clip back some friendships when they should've been clipped off? Do I have enough courage to sacrifice and put an end to my reluctance?
How to love today:
Pray for some of your broken, suffering or unstable relationships.
Perhaps, that way you will be able to find out whether you should be fastening some good ones or detaching the wrong ones in your life.
edit// 4:18am
"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it. I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death, I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression, and I am braver than Lonliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
How to love today:
Pray for some of your broken, suffering or unstable relationships.
Perhaps, that way you will be able to find out whether you should be fastening some good ones or detaching the wrong ones in your life.
edit// 4:18am
"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it. I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death, I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression, and I am braver than Lonliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
est: 4/07/2009 05:17:00 PM
n33d sl33p
////////////
Last night, made me feel very thankful for our friendship... We can really piss eachother off most of the time... but at the end of the day, you're really all I have :$ Miss you always, man...
ps, You really do have a good heart. and Thank you for being you.
How to love today:
Take time to appreciate the good friendships you have..
because those friendships bring out the best in you.
est: 4/04/2009 06:23:00 PM
the wrong fit
ps, I think I lost my other half.
est: 4/01/2009 02:54:00 AM
take it or leave it
It's 2:54am and I'm tried of studying. There's too much crap in my head already, I can't stuff anymore information. So let me clear my head...
How do you know when to stick and around, and ride the waves... or take it as a loss? What do you do, when you give the world to someone, but at the end of the day you feel exhausted. Not fulfilled? They say, "Keep giving until it hurts." So, does that mean once it starts hurting, you give up?
I'm not exactly sure. but what I do know, is that it takes love to truly serve and give to someone. and sometimes, if you love them that much, the service is no longer work.
How to love today:
Help that old lady with her groceries.
Wash the dishes because your mom is tired.
Keep giving, especially to those who don't notice.
Because it takes time out of your day that you'll never get back, to really show love.
PS: "Worrying results in anxiety and preoccupation with self and often leads to physical and psychological illness. Jesus said, "Put your life in the hands of our loving God. Live each day as best as you can, try your best to love, give your life to serving others, and God will watch out for you and take care of what you really need to be happy.""
4.20am: JET LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG :(
How do you know when to stick and around, and ride the waves... or take it as a loss? What do you do, when you give the world to someone, but at the end of the day you feel exhausted. Not fulfilled? They say, "Keep giving until it hurts." So, does that mean once it starts hurting, you give up?
I'm not exactly sure. but what I do know, is that it takes love to truly serve and give to someone. and sometimes, if you love them that much, the service is no longer work.
How to love today:
Help that old lady with her groceries.
Wash the dishes because your mom is tired.
Keep giving, especially to those who don't notice.
Because it takes time out of your day that you'll never get back, to really show love.
PS: "Worrying results in anxiety and preoccupation with self and often leads to physical and psychological illness. Jesus said, "Put your life in the hands of our loving God. Live each day as best as you can, try your best to love, give your life to serving others, and God will watch out for you and take care of what you really need to be happy.""
4.20am: JET LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG :(
est: 4/01/2009 02:23:00 AM
J3T L4GG3D
"If being Christian was against the law, would they find enough enough evidence to convict me?"
i'm wide awake and i feel like craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
i'm wide awake and i feel like craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
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