est: 10/07/2009 10:16:00 PM
I don't know why you're acting like this. Either you have some hidden motive, or you're simply being yourself. Whatever it is, it's driving me crazy. My wise and defensive mindset is feeling quite rusty. I don't know how to respond or act anymore because I'm so scared of what it'll lead me to. I'm so scared to be happy. But even if this isn't the kind of happy I'm looking for... I'm still incredibly happy. So happy, that some part of me aches... aches as if I'm moving my muscles for the first time in years....
... but being the negative kind of person that I am...
I can imagine myself in the future... realizing I was being a complete idiot for thinking this, and that I took everything the wrong way.. and wanting to delete this post.
it'll probably happen that way.
Oh God, help me.
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