grr I can never choose between tumblr or blogspot. so find me at both, haha!
Today... i have a day plan: First, i'm going to eat. Because it's 2:25pm and I still haven't eaten breakfast :( Then I will start baking michael's celebratory brownies (for a very good game on friday), and while I'm waiting, i'll start on my homework. (this is where I'll say that i'll do my laundry... but i have a strong strong feeling that wont happen haha!) Then, if I have a ride anywhere, i'll head over to church :) Although I still have a few things lined up for me today, I would probably consider this my only day of "down time". Most days I'm constantly running around doing something... doing things that would involve me going straight from school, then returning home later that evening. I usually don't get to see my dad all week until friday or saturday (when i don't have commitments) .... It's gonna be a busy year.. It's already going by so fast. I have no idea how I'm going to land a job like this. deng. I don't even have time to play cs anymore :(
on the plus side, christmas is just around the corner!! and aj wants to get me a blackberry :):):) I've given up trying to convince him other wise, because he really really really wants to get it. so that probably means i have to get him something equally valuable. wayyyy too nice, that guy.. :( so much love :) thank you. also gotta save up our november and december paychecks so we can go shopping, and buy eachother gifts, YAY!
I just wanted to say that I'm practically breaking ankles trying to fix this. Effort like this can only come from passion. I can't say that I will do a very good job. I like to think that I will, but you and I both know one of us is going to mess up along the way. I just wanted to open up the fact that I'm doing this out of pure, unconditional love. Please continue to be patient.
Stress level has come down from a 12 to.. probably a 9, haha! Which is still good news. But 9 on a scale of 10 isn't that encouraging. Still have to choreo an outro (talk about pressure!!) for tomorrow... and I haven't started. Still have to do my homework (essay, outlines, studying for quiz, etc). AND I have to find my costume for Praiseteam!!! Gah, so many deadlines... so little time :(
On the other hand, there are plenty of things I'm happy about/looking forward to, such as:
some how finding the time to read? I don't know how this is happening. I'm so glad I finally have a book though :)
247 large group auditions Dec.4! :) come come come! :) It's going to be super fun, and even if you don't want to audition, you can still come and take it like a free class!
Braces off in a week! grrr finally :@
Evolution this Saturday! Haha our dance is so freakin hilarious. Having so much fun this year :) I love dance squad!!
Wintergroove and Praiseteam's Retro Party. Stressful, but i have hope in us! :)
Philip Geniza's workshop? Not too sure yet. Hopefully I can come out :( I need $$$!
Christmas/winter/etcetc
So, despite all the stress that wears me down (daily), I've been a really happy girl this week. No particular reason i dont think, haha! I was just really happy :)
Ugh. I think i'm thinking too hard. I should really be studying for socials right now. I can't remember the last time i was trying so damn hard to study for something. I'm really starting to feel my hatred for socials again.... damn you.
I'm crammed up to my neck right now. I have 2 tests to study for, i still need to choreo for showcase FOR WEDNESDAY... Still have to find my costume, hand in the few late assignments i forgot to do, AND I have dance squad everyday this week. Oh, and don't forget my everyday load of homework! How the hell am i supposed to get any sleep? Dear God, have mercy :(
I don't know whether I'm making a bigger situation out of what it is now... but I'm starting to reconsider. It's constantly on my mind.. where I'm hoping it wouldn't be. I'm starting to have hope again... but doubting it as well.. Maybe I'm just tired? Maybe because i'm betting on it so much, because it's one of the things in my life that make me so darn happy? I don't know. It just makes sense.
But then, a lot of things make sense when you're crazy.
Maybe I'm just crazy :(
okay i really have to study now.... Praying for a miracle tonight!!!
I can't believe how blessed i am to have you! thank you sooo much (x279234) for putting up with my trust issues, stubbornness and my tendency to overreact :( you seem to always get the worst of it all, but you always seem to love me anyway... I'm so sorry for today, and for all the days i've taken you for granted :(
thank you for showing me what unconditional love looks like. You're the bestestsetsetesterestest friend anyone could ask for :)
rararraw huh huh huh huh,
- poopie :)
"i know you guys love eachother."
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On another note.... I decided today after school that I was going to audition for the olympics HAHA. Talk about rash decisions... anyway, i don't regret it. It was a fun experience. Got to learn from Kelly Kono (back up dancer for Janet Jackson and.. JT? I'm not sure.) anyway yeah she's dope. Learned a short house-type piece which was really fun :) Went over time and had to miss 24/7 :( but had all u can eat for dinner with aj's family :) his sister's bestfriend's son is the CUTEST KID EVER!!! I wanted to take him home!! :$
Now I'm full and tired as hell. I think i'll go to bed early so I can read before I sleep :) Gnight!! :)
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"Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at what the others have received or what I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away - up to ME, or you will miss what I have to show you."
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6
I just want to say that... for the most part, I would consider myself a "control freak"... But sometimes, I just really need to humble myself and let God work through me. Hmmm...
Everyday, whether I choose to accept or deny it... I will always discover something about the kind of person I am. Whether it's something I already knew, or something completely different... I will always find something.
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- You're a tough cookie :(
- My grades weren't too bad! :) My mom's super happy so, w/e it takes right? haha. Now I'm just praying for my new laptop :$:$:$! (HoN L4D CS oh my!)
- I'm breaking out like no other. Gotta sleep and drink more water!!!! :@
- "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself." - Galatians 6:1-3
I never seem to be satisfied with my hardwork. I'm always wanting more from myself. Still wondering whether that's a good thing or a bad thing...
I've been day dreaming a lot. I can't remember the last time I was daydreaming about something or someone. Honestly, it's the best get away. I always feel a little hopeful and bubbly once I snap back into reality.... then really really really embarrassed afterwards because of what I was thinking about, HAHA.... shh :(
Hehe, I can't get over this song and the music video!
Peprally sucked.... dance squad sucked... but dance squad was the best thing that happened in peprally LOL.
I am freakin' breaking out like no other. I thought I could alter the system by drinking 5098237 glasses of water a day but it's hard to keep up.
PEPSI BOWL TODAY :) probably the first time i'm actually going out to show my school spirit. I Figured I should really start being more supportive, LOL. Esp since all my friends are growing up!!!! :') and they're actually really good! Makes me proud to be their friend :):)
If there's any competition in the world that will get you somewhere in life.... It would be the competition against yourself.
Personally, I am a very competitive person. I usually find myself in the bad habit of trying to out do others when really... I should be trying to outdo myself. It's not about trying to be better than others. It's really not. It's trying to grow from what and where you started from. From what you were a year ago.. a month ago.. a day ago. It's about how hard you are willing to improve.
Everyday I have a new goal.
But by the end of the day, I'm always accomplishing something else.