est: 1/26/2010 01:18:00 AM
speaking of
okay i thought i wasn't shady. but i am. not the smoke a lot/sex a lot kind of way. but in the kind of way where i walk around everyday hiding a billion secrets from everyone. i kind of pretend as if nothings eating at me, because to be honest i don't feel sad. i don't feel bad. I don't feel like crap. it doesn't feel wrong most of the time. most of the time, i just go about my daily life. it's kind of like trying to keep secrets from my own mind, so all i hear in my mind.. is nothing. just emptiness. quiet, nothingness. it's not the peaceful kind of nothingness either. it's the eerie, constant echo, numbness kind of deal.
it didn't bug me until now. and right now i'm tired of feeling nothing deeper than the surface. i'm tired of feeling nothing. gotta take shit in my own hands because something wants to come out, but all the crap i laid down for myself keeps getting in the way. the kind of crap that i laid out consciously. so is this my fault? yes. ill quit trying to find someone else to blame. it is my fault.
but that doesn't mean i'm gonna go cry like a little girl because i did something wrong. it's my fault, but i'm not stupid.
<$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:
<$BlogCommentBody$>
>
Post a Comment
>
Post a Comment
[dboard /
in /
new /
template]