est: 2/19/2010 03:00:00 AM
lanie the green eyed monster
i absolutely, positively hate how much jealousy manipulates my mind. it can turn the most insignificant event into something disastrous. when it's there, i can feel it, and i know i'm being unreasonable but once it's there it's extremely difficult to get rid of. i have to learn how to be humble, or else i'm not gonna get anywhere in life.
reminder #234723856039480134: be grateful for what you have. be happy for those who are given better opportunities, and pray that it'll be you're turn some day. i mean there's a reason for everything, and if ya don't get it.. then there must be a reason why.
taken from (a million) previous experiences... jealousy is not a choice either. jealousy is not a bad thing unless you provoke it. it's not something people choose, or something people can turn away from. i personally find that i can't control when jealousy comes and goes. however, i can control my actions. whether i choose to feed the green eyed monster or not, is up to me. hell, it ain't easy. there's a reason why it's called a "monster". it's terrifying and scary. especially when you want something so bad, that it scares you how much you want it. sometimes it feels like it's clawing at your insides because it wants it so bad. but it's either you starve the thing to death... or you keep feeding it what it wants; so much that it starts walking all over you and your life.
answer's a lot clearer now huh?
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