Although I'm still no where close to where I want to be, I try my hardest (everyday, perhaps multiple times a day) not to be discouraged. Of course some days are easier than others, but naturally I'm not a typically positive kind of person. Again, this is where my support system comes in. However, sometimes what people say, aren't exactly the right things to say.

what I mean is that, personally... I've worked a lot this year. Maybe not as hard as I wish I did (working to fix this), but I think I worked particularly harder this year. I don't really have a reason why, to be honest. But I work hard to be better at what I do. I work hard for myself, for my team mates, for God and for a lot of things. However, there is one thing I do not work hard for: being someone else. To be honest, I don't think it's fair when people work hard to improve themselves, and in the end be told "hey you're exactly like __________!" ...Don't get me wrong, some of those comments can really flatter someone. But after a while, those comments just don't do the job anymore...

I work hard to be myself, not a duplicate of someone else. I work hard, so I can be recognized for being me. I just want people to look at me and know that, "that's Lanie".

I love you all for having the best interests in mind. I wish you all knew what I was thinking, but sometimes it's better not having to explain all of this every single time. Please keep in mind that I'm still a person, and my hard work does go somewhere. Just not where you think it is. Thank you guys so much, just sometimes... just, not.

- lanie

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